[ Her heart is in her throat. There's a small part hoping, urging, for Ransom to refuse. For him to say that it's not about the money. That he wants her and everything else be damned.
But he doesn't. He takes it. He agrees to her conditions. He doesn't even question her. He kisses her, but she doesn't really give anything in return. Her eyes prickle and sting as moisture collect along her waterline.
Swallowing hard, she pulls back and focuses on opening the car door to step out. She can't breathe. Her bare foot touch the gravel of the road. The deep breath she sucks in doesn't make her feel any better. Her hand quickly comes up to dash the errant tears away. She's so tired.
Clearing her throat, she wraps her arms around herself starts moving towards his house. ]
[ The elation is short lived. It's a bucket of cold water when he pulls back and sees the redness around her eyes and the wetness that glimmers in her brilliant greens. His stomach drops when she steps out of the car.]
Marta. [ He calls, but her car door shuts. He turns and steps out too, locking the car behind him as he catches up to her, a hand finding her arm to stop her in her tracks. The gravel's sharp. ] Marta, this is a good thing. [ His heart clenches in his chest as a hand goes to her chin to tip it up. Look at him. Look at him. ]
[ The gravel digs into her feet. It bites into her skin, but she ignores it. There's little pebbles of gravel stuck into the indentations it leaves behind. His hand stops her. She doesn't fight him. Ransom turns her towards him, but it's hard to look up at him even when he coaxes her too.
It's hard to look at him and see all her terrible fears confirmed. It's the money for him. It always has been. Money he doesn't even need. Ransom just wants it on principle because god forbid, it doesn't go to him or his family.
Her jaw clenched to keep her emotions in check. Her throat feels too tight. All she can manage is a bob of her head in agreement. ] Si-- yes. It's a good thing.
[ She agrees when he expects her to push back, but she gives in without putting up a single ounce of fight. It disarms him, and he dips his chin, trying to catch her eyes. She refuses to look at him. ]
Yeah. I do--it is what I want. [ He's not going to deny it. He's wanted this from the moment Harlan wrote it all away, but there's a knot in his chest, clenched around the satisfaction that he should be feeling. What's she done to him? He wipes away a tear.
There's a small huff of incredulous laughter before he shakes his head, brows furrowing. ]
Can you not look so--Fuck, Marta. Let's get inside first. Hold on, okay? [ He'll pick her up like he did earlier if she'll let him, but this time, she feels much more distant. ]
[ Her eyes are nearly luminous thanks to the moonlight and the tears that she furiously tries to blink back. She doesn't want to be that girl, the kind that uses tears like a weapon. It's not what she's trying to do here. But she's realized something in giving up the money. If Ransom takes it, she can't be with him.
How can she? It's never been about her. He confirms it for her. The inheritance is what he wants. She's not sure what else he wants to talk about.
She doesn't know what else he wants from her. Gently, she tugs him along, so they can go inside. She doesn't want him to pick her up like before. Her previous clingy affection has faded to resignation. ]
[ He's trying to look at her and walk along with her at the same time. The gravel driveway can't be comfortable under her bare feet, but she shields away when he tries to carry her inside. There's no trace of the soft, wanting Marta, the one that said she was so happy he was here. ]
No, but you do. You look so--sad. I thought you didn't care about the inheritance! [ He's short with her and swings the door open a little too hard, throwing it against its hinges to let her inside. ]
Because if it's me or the money, Ransom. You want the money.
[ She's tired of talking about this. She doesn't want to talk anymore. All Marta wants to do is crawl beneath some warm, cozy blankets and sleep for a day or two.
She doesn't jump at the sharpness in his words or the way the door slams open. She simply pauses at the doorway to brush her feet clean of gravel. Her feet lead her to the couch which she drops herself on. She pulls a pillow to her chest and hugs it tight. ]
Wait. [ The door slams shut behind him and he follows her into the living room, crouching down in front of her when she drops to the couch. He frowns, a hand reaching out but pausing before it settles on her shoulder. ]
[ His insistence to keep beating the dead horse burns through some of the melancholy. She feels cranky and irritated. Marta rolls over to face the couch, so she's not looking at him. ]
The money is more important to you than I am. I'm done talking about this.
[ There's the edge of annoyance that laces her words, and he shuts up for a beat, jaw tense, staring at the back of her head. ]
It's not more important to me than you are. [ He finally says. ] Marta. [ He knows what she's doing. She's thrown him the money and pulled herself away. ] Don't make me choose.
[ She does look up at him this time. Her eyes are red rimmed and watery. It hurts to look at him. It hurts to know that she's taken a chance on him and would have gone all the way if he'd just taken her hand and joined her. ]
I haven't. [ His heart aches seeing her like this. Her beautiful green eyes well up with tears. He takes her hand from where it grips the pillow, dropping to a knee. His other hand comes to brush away the wetness from her cheeks. He can't bear to see this like her. It feels like he's drowning. ] I'm not choosing. I'm not giving anything up. It's not mutually exclusive--why don't you see that? We can have it all, Marta.
[ It's so confusing. How can he go from choosing the money to holding her hand and wiping her tears? She can't hold them back anymore. She feels them slide down her cheek when he doesn't catch them. He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand. ]
We can't have it all, Ransom. Can't you see that? We're only here because of the money. All of this, all that you've done has been for exactly that, isn't it?
[ She's crying earnestly now. She's given up the inheritance and also pushed him away. He gets it--he really does, why she's so sad, but she doesn't have to be. He truly believes that. And it hurts to see her looking at him like that, like he's caused this whole thing.
He wants nothing more than to kiss her tears away and show him how grateful he is, that she's finally relented and given him what he's wanted this whole time. He wants nothing more but to adore her, but instead, she's crying, telling him he can't have her. ]
No. Yes--at first, yes, but it's not just for the money anymore. [ He's trying to be honest with her. ] Marta, I've been doing all of this for you too. Why won't you believe me?
For me? [ She repeats incredulously. Marta sits up. She does it so fast that it makes her head spin and ache. The tears still come even though she tries to scrub them away. She sniffles. ]
Making me trust you again? Believe in you? Making me fall for you? All so you can get your money. That's for me too?
No--[ She misunderstands him and sits up so fast he has to straighten, one hand still on hers, the other on his own knee as he kneels on the plush rug, looking up at her, eyes wide and hurt. He feels raw again, and the thought of her leaving is unbearable. ]
Because I want that with you, too. I want you fall for me because I'm falling for you--Fuck, Marta. [ He sits there, staring at her, incredulous with the words that came out of his mouth. ] I'm falling for you. [ He repeats again, words pleading. ]
[ It hurts to see him like this. Seeing him so open and honest is one of her favorite things because he's not like this with anyone else. But he's like this now, when it all feels too late.
Her heart feels traitorous to hear how he's falling for her too. Neither of them have truly put into words what this is and how they feel. They just know. ]
And if I never gave you the money? If you never got your cut?
[ He takes a slow breath, shaking his head when she asks him that. He takes in her expression, the soft, fierce look in her eyes. The breath shudders out and he drops his face into her lap. Another shuddering breath and he looks up at her again, stripped down and vulnerable. ]
[ Any other evening, she would have loved this. She would've run her fingers through his hair and run her nails along the nape of his neck. She wants to do it now. But she can't bring herself to do it. The most she allows herself is gently cup the back of his neck. He's on his knees and gazing up at her with such beseeching eyes. A laugh, soft and rueful, escapes her. ]
I've trusted you with my body. My heart. But it's not enough.
[ He doesn't know how to explain that it's not simple with them. He's been offered many bodies and hearts and none of it had been enough. He could take and take, but nothing had ever captured his attention like she has. Marta has an allure. She grasped everything he wanted in her hand and commanded it with such a delicate confidence and intelligence. She used it against him so skillfully that even he couldn't keep up. And that fascinates him. She made him work so hard for it and as much as she infuriates him, he loves that she can bring him to his knees like this.
But how could he ever put any of that into words? How could he ever express that the inheritance is now forever tied to her, that it's no longer complete without her? What good is her finally giving this to him if it doesn't come with its keeper? ]
You were keeping something from me. You wanted me to give up something that means so much to me--how was I supposed to give you all of me? [ She wanted him to say he was hers, all hers, and now, when he finally wants to be all hers, she pulls away. ]
What do I have to do? [ He takes her hand, eyes downcast, brows drawn together. ] What do I have to do for you to take me again?
[ Neither of them can understand what the other is saying. They might as well be speaking a different language. For Ransom, Marta and the inheritance are all once package, whereas she sees it as two separate entities. Marta considers her value without the money. It's how she's always seen herself. The money feels so separate from her.
Harlan had meant to do a good thing by giving it to her. He thought she deserves it. It's only brought her so much trouble and heartache. It's brought a man who's tried to kill her and one she loves so madly all in the same breath.
Ransom is on his knees, trying to find a way to make it work. Have his cake and eat it too. She's so tired. The ire and fight flood out of her. Gently, she cups his face. Her thumb brushes along his cheekbone as she gazes into his eyes. ]
Why does it mean so much to you? It was Harlan's wealth. Because he was your blood, you should get it? By the reasoning, I should give it to all your family. Split it up as the original will dictated.
[ She releases a sigh then leans in to press a kiss to his forehead. Her lips linger there as she breathes him in. When she pulls back, Marta is resigned. ]
[ His hands spread over her dress on her thighs when she tips his head up, and he lifts his eyes, trying to find a clue in her gaze. All he sees is a resigned finality like she doesn't agree with a single thing he says. He starts to shake his head but she leans in, and he stops, lashes fluttering shut as her lips press warm to his forehead.
There's a yearning in his eyes when he looks at her again. She doesn't have an answer, and neither does he. His hand lifts to her cheek and he tips up, lips finding hers. The kiss is deep, wistful, and his words are a low murmur against her mouth. ]
[ The kids is bittersweet. All she's wanted was for Ransom to be all in with her. She's been patient and allowed him to try. They're both in a quasi-relationship where they're figuring it, but she's also with Cameron. Cameron, who often gets left behind because she wants him.
It figures he's only all in once he gets what he wants. He has his inheritance. More than that even. He's got the keys to the kingdom, save for the concessions he'll make for her family. She's asked nothing for herself. She doesn't want it. All she wants is him.
He's offering himself to her, but she can't take him. Not like this. ]
You have to, cariño. I'm not for you. I don't come with the inheritance.
No, [ he says, kissing her again, hand sliding to the nape of her neck, through dark strands to deepen the kiss. How could he not drink her in when she's pushing him away? How could he ever let her go when she's slipping through his fingers? ]
No, you're wrong. You're the only one for me-and you want me too, not him, me. [ Cameron could never fill the part in her heart that's shaped like him. The jealousy has always been tied to anger, but it's also been tied to his inability to do what Cameron has done: to hand himself over to her, wholly without complication, patiently and lovingly. There's always been too much complication between them, unlike the easy way Cameron can be upfront with his intentions.
But that's what makes them so right for each other. Cameron doesn't know Marta like he does. Cameron hasn't gone to such lengths for Marta. His other hand comes to her cheek to gently hold her as he kisses her nose, her chin, along the curve of her jaw. ] You can have me now. [ He kisses down the column of her neck. ] I'm yours, like you wanted.
[ She can't help but return the kiss. As much as her heart is breaking, kissing him like this makes her feel like she's taking a deep breath. The more she pushes him away, the tighter he holds on. It's Ransom's way. He always wants what he can't have. For a moment, all she can do is cup his face and kiss him back so fervently. There's a part of her that understands that this might be the last time.
If it's the last time then she wants to relish it. Come morning, she'll have to slip away and find a way to live with the gaping wound in her heart. The kiss tastes like sea salt from her tears and desperation to hold on. She can't tell if the desperation is his or hers. Maybe both. ]
Why couldn't you be mine before? [ It's so frustrating. It feels too little, too late. She tugs at his knit shirt to pull it off of him. There's an urgency in her touch. Their time together is slipping through their fingers. He hasn't accepted it yet, but it's coming. ]
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Date: 2023-03-27 06:55 pm (UTC)But he doesn't. He takes it. He agrees to her conditions. He doesn't even question her. He kisses her, but she doesn't really give anything in return. Her eyes prickle and sting as moisture collect along her waterline.
Swallowing hard, she pulls back and focuses on opening the car door to step out. She can't breathe. Her bare foot touch the gravel of the road. The deep breath she sucks in doesn't make her feel any better. Her hand quickly comes up to dash the errant tears away. She's so tired.
Clearing her throat, she wraps her arms around herself starts moving towards his house. ]
I think I need to lay down.
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Date: 2023-03-27 07:08 pm (UTC)Marta. [ He calls, but her car door shuts. He turns and steps out too, locking the car behind him as he catches up to her, a hand finding her arm to stop her in her tracks. The gravel's sharp. ] Marta, this is a good thing. [ His heart clenches in his chest as a hand goes to her chin to tip it up. Look at him. Look at him. ]
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Date: 2023-03-27 07:18 pm (UTC)It's hard to look at him and see all her terrible fears confirmed. It's the money for him. It always has been. Money he doesn't even need. Ransom just wants it on principle because god forbid, it doesn't go to him or his family.
Her jaw clenched to keep her emotions in check. Her throat feels too tight. All she can manage is a bob of her head in agreement. ] Si-- yes. It's a good thing.
You have what you want.
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Date: 2023-03-27 07:39 pm (UTC)Yeah. I do--it is what I want. [ He's not going to deny it. He's wanted this from the moment Harlan wrote it all away, but there's a knot in his chest, clenched around the satisfaction that he should be feeling. What's she done to him? He wipes away a tear.
There's a small huff of incredulous laughter before he shakes his head, brows furrowing. ]
Can you not look so--Fuck, Marta. Let's get inside first. Hold on, okay? [ He'll pick her up like he did earlier if she'll let him, but this time, she feels much more distant. ]
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Date: 2023-03-27 07:49 pm (UTC)How can she? It's never been about her. He confirms it for her. The inheritance is what he wants. She's not sure what else he wants to talk about.
She doesn't know what else he wants from her. Gently, she tugs him along, so they can go inside. She doesn't want him to pick her up like before. Her previous clingy affection has faded to resignation. ]
I'm not trying to look any kind of way.
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:05 pm (UTC)No, but you do. You look so--sad. I thought you didn't care about the inheritance! [ He's short with her and swings the door open a little too hard, throwing it against its hinges to let her inside. ]
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:14 pm (UTC)[ She's tired of talking about this. She doesn't want to talk anymore. All Marta wants to do is crawl beneath some warm, cozy blankets and sleep for a day or two.
She doesn't jump at the sharpness in his words or the way the door slams open. She simply pauses at the doorway to brush her feet clean of gravel. Her feet lead her to the couch which she drops herself on. She pulls a pillow to her chest and hugs it tight. ]
You have what you want. What more do you want?
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:21 pm (UTC)What do you mean? It's not you or the money.
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:23 pm (UTC)The money is more important to you than I am. I'm done talking about this.
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:26 pm (UTC)It's not more important to me than you are. [ He finally says. ] Marta. [ He knows what she's doing. She's thrown him the money and pulled herself away. ] Don't make me choose.
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:31 pm (UTC)You already have.
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-03-27 08:49 pm (UTC)We can't have it all, Ransom. Can't you see that? We're only here because of the money. All of this, all that you've done has been for exactly that, isn't it?
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Date: 2023-03-27 09:07 pm (UTC)He wants nothing more than to kiss her tears away and show him how grateful he is, that she's finally relented and given him what he's wanted this whole time. He wants nothing more but to adore her, but instead, she's crying, telling him he can't have her. ]
No. Yes--at first, yes, but it's not just for the money anymore. [ He's trying to be honest with her. ] Marta, I've been doing all of this for you too. Why won't you believe me?
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Date: 2023-03-27 09:18 pm (UTC)Making me trust you again? Believe in you? Making me fall for you? All so you can get your money. That's for me too?
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Date: 2023-03-27 09:26 pm (UTC)Because I want that with you, too. I want you fall for me because I'm falling for you--Fuck, Marta. [ He sits there, staring at her, incredulous with the words that came out of his mouth. ] I'm falling for you. [ He repeats again, words pleading. ]
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Date: 2023-03-27 09:32 pm (UTC)Her heart feels traitorous to hear how he's falling for her too. Neither of them have truly put into words what this is and how they feel. They just know. ]
And if I never gave you the money? If you never got your cut?
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Date: 2023-03-27 09:40 pm (UTC)I'd think you couldn't ever trust me.
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Date: 2023-03-27 11:59 pm (UTC)I've trusted you with my body. My heart. But it's not enough.
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Date: 2023-03-28 12:45 am (UTC)But how could he ever put any of that into words? How could he ever express that the inheritance is now forever tied to her, that it's no longer complete without her? What good is her finally giving this to him if it doesn't come with its keeper? ]
You were keeping something from me. You wanted me to give up something that means so much to me--how was I supposed to give you all of me? [ She wanted him to say he was hers, all hers, and now, when he finally wants to be all hers, she pulls away. ]
What do I have to do? [ He takes her hand, eyes downcast, brows drawn together. ] What do I have to do for you to take me again?
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Date: 2023-03-28 01:11 am (UTC)Harlan had meant to do a good thing by giving it to her. He thought she deserves it. It's only brought her so much trouble and heartache. It's brought a man who's tried to kill her and one she loves so madly all in the same breath.
Ransom is on his knees, trying to find a way to make it work. Have his cake and eat it too. She's so tired. The ire and fight flood out of her. Gently, she cups his face. Her thumb brushes along his cheekbone as she gazes into his eyes. ]
Why does it mean so much to you? It was Harlan's wealth. Because he was your blood, you should get it? By the reasoning, I should give it to all your family. Split it up as the original will dictated.
[ She releases a sigh then leans in to press a kiss to his forehead. Her lips linger there as she breathes him in. When she pulls back, Marta is resigned. ]
I don't know, Ransom. I wish I did.
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Date: 2023-03-28 01:28 am (UTC)There's a yearning in his eyes when he looks at her again. She doesn't have an answer, and neither does he. His hand lifts to her cheek and he tips up, lips finding hers. The kiss is deep, wistful, and his words are a low murmur against her mouth. ]
I don't wanna let you go. I won't.
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Date: 2023-03-28 01:40 am (UTC)It figures he's only all in once he gets what he wants. He has his inheritance. More than that even. He's got the keys to the kingdom, save for the concessions he'll make for her family. She's asked nothing for herself. She doesn't want it. All she wants is him.
He's offering himself to her, but she can't take him. Not like this. ]
You have to, cariño. I'm not for you. I don't come with the inheritance.
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Date: 2023-03-28 02:00 am (UTC)No, you're wrong. You're the only one for me-and you want me too, not him, me. [ Cameron could never fill the part in her heart that's shaped like him. The jealousy has always been tied to anger, but it's also been tied to his inability to do what Cameron has done: to hand himself over to her, wholly without complication, patiently and lovingly. There's always been too much complication between them, unlike the easy way Cameron can be upfront with his intentions.
But that's what makes them so right for each other. Cameron doesn't know Marta like he does. Cameron hasn't gone to such lengths for Marta. His other hand comes to her cheek to gently hold her as he kisses her nose, her chin, along the curve of her jaw. ] You can have me now. [ He kisses down the column of her neck. ] I'm yours, like you wanted.
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Date: 2023-03-28 02:10 am (UTC)If it's the last time then she wants to relish it. Come morning, she'll have to slip away and find a way to live with the gaping wound in her heart. The kiss tastes like sea salt from her tears and desperation to hold on. She can't tell if the desperation is his or hers. Maybe both. ]
Why couldn't you be mine before? [ It's so frustrating. It feels too little, too late. She tugs at his knit shirt to pull it off of him. There's an urgency in her touch. Their time together is slipping through their fingers. He hasn't accepted it yet, but it's coming. ]
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