Because if it's me or the money, Ransom. You want the money.
[ She's tired of talking about this. She doesn't want to talk anymore. All Marta wants to do is crawl beneath some warm, cozy blankets and sleep for a day or two.
She doesn't jump at the sharpness in his words or the way the door slams open. She simply pauses at the doorway to brush her feet clean of gravel. Her feet lead her to the couch which she drops herself on. She pulls a pillow to her chest and hugs it tight. ]
Wait. [ The door slams shut behind him and he follows her into the living room, crouching down in front of her when she drops to the couch. He frowns, a hand reaching out but pausing before it settles on her shoulder. ]
[ His insistence to keep beating the dead horse burns through some of the melancholy. She feels cranky and irritated. Marta rolls over to face the couch, so she's not looking at him. ]
The money is more important to you than I am. I'm done talking about this.
[ There's the edge of annoyance that laces her words, and he shuts up for a beat, jaw tense, staring at the back of her head. ]
It's not more important to me than you are. [ He finally says. ] Marta. [ He knows what she's doing. She's thrown him the money and pulled herself away. ] Don't make me choose.
[ She does look up at him this time. Her eyes are red rimmed and watery. It hurts to look at him. It hurts to know that she's taken a chance on him and would have gone all the way if he'd just taken her hand and joined her. ]
I haven't. [ His heart aches seeing her like this. Her beautiful green eyes well up with tears. He takes her hand from where it grips the pillow, dropping to a knee. His other hand comes to brush away the wetness from her cheeks. He can't bear to see this like her. It feels like he's drowning. ] I'm not choosing. I'm not giving anything up. It's not mutually exclusive--why don't you see that? We can have it all, Marta.
[ It's so confusing. How can he go from choosing the money to holding her hand and wiping her tears? She can't hold them back anymore. She feels them slide down her cheek when he doesn't catch them. He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand. ]
We can't have it all, Ransom. Can't you see that? We're only here because of the money. All of this, all that you've done has been for exactly that, isn't it?
[ She's crying earnestly now. She's given up the inheritance and also pushed him away. He gets it--he really does, why she's so sad, but she doesn't have to be. He truly believes that. And it hurts to see her looking at him like that, like he's caused this whole thing.
He wants nothing more than to kiss her tears away and show him how grateful he is, that she's finally relented and given him what he's wanted this whole time. He wants nothing more but to adore her, but instead, she's crying, telling him he can't have her. ]
No. Yes--at first, yes, but it's not just for the money anymore. [ He's trying to be honest with her. ] Marta, I've been doing all of this for you too. Why won't you believe me?
For me? [ She repeats incredulously. Marta sits up. She does it so fast that it makes her head spin and ache. The tears still come even though she tries to scrub them away. She sniffles. ]
Making me trust you again? Believe in you? Making me fall for you? All so you can get your money. That's for me too?
No--[ She misunderstands him and sits up so fast he has to straighten, one hand still on hers, the other on his own knee as he kneels on the plush rug, looking up at her, eyes wide and hurt. He feels raw again, and the thought of her leaving is unbearable. ]
Because I want that with you, too. I want you fall for me because I'm falling for you--Fuck, Marta. [ He sits there, staring at her, incredulous with the words that came out of his mouth. ] I'm falling for you. [ He repeats again, words pleading. ]
[ It hurts to see him like this. Seeing him so open and honest is one of her favorite things because he's not like this with anyone else. But he's like this now, when it all feels too late.
Her heart feels traitorous to hear how he's falling for her too. Neither of them have truly put into words what this is and how they feel. They just know. ]
And if I never gave you the money? If you never got your cut?
[ He takes a slow breath, shaking his head when she asks him that. He takes in her expression, the soft, fierce look in her eyes. The breath shudders out and he drops his face into her lap. Another shuddering breath and he looks up at her again, stripped down and vulnerable. ]
[ Any other evening, she would have loved this. She would've run her fingers through his hair and run her nails along the nape of his neck. She wants to do it now. But she can't bring herself to do it. The most she allows herself is gently cup the back of his neck. He's on his knees and gazing up at her with such beseeching eyes. A laugh, soft and rueful, escapes her. ]
I've trusted you with my body. My heart. But it's not enough.
[ He doesn't know how to explain that it's not simple with them. He's been offered many bodies and hearts and none of it had been enough. He could take and take, but nothing had ever captured his attention like she has. Marta has an allure. She grasped everything he wanted in her hand and commanded it with such a delicate confidence and intelligence. She used it against him so skillfully that even he couldn't keep up. And that fascinates him. She made him work so hard for it and as much as she infuriates him, he loves that she can bring him to his knees like this.
But how could he ever put any of that into words? How could he ever express that the inheritance is now forever tied to her, that it's no longer complete without her? What good is her finally giving this to him if it doesn't come with its keeper? ]
You were keeping something from me. You wanted me to give up something that means so much to me--how was I supposed to give you all of me? [ She wanted him to say he was hers, all hers, and now, when he finally wants to be all hers, she pulls away. ]
What do I have to do? [ He takes her hand, eyes downcast, brows drawn together. ] What do I have to do for you to take me again?
[ Neither of them can understand what the other is saying. They might as well be speaking a different language. For Ransom, Marta and the inheritance are all once package, whereas she sees it as two separate entities. Marta considers her value without the money. It's how she's always seen herself. The money feels so separate from her.
Harlan had meant to do a good thing by giving it to her. He thought she deserves it. It's only brought her so much trouble and heartache. It's brought a man who's tried to kill her and one she loves so madly all in the same breath.
Ransom is on his knees, trying to find a way to make it work. Have his cake and eat it too. She's so tired. The ire and fight flood out of her. Gently, she cups his face. Her thumb brushes along his cheekbone as she gazes into his eyes. ]
Why does it mean so much to you? It was Harlan's wealth. Because he was your blood, you should get it? By the reasoning, I should give it to all your family. Split it up as the original will dictated.
[ She releases a sigh then leans in to press a kiss to his forehead. Her lips linger there as she breathes him in. When she pulls back, Marta is resigned. ]
[ His hands spread over her dress on her thighs when she tips his head up, and he lifts his eyes, trying to find a clue in her gaze. All he sees is a resigned finality like she doesn't agree with a single thing he says. He starts to shake his head but she leans in, and he stops, lashes fluttering shut as her lips press warm to his forehead.
There's a yearning in his eyes when he looks at her again. She doesn't have an answer, and neither does he. His hand lifts to her cheek and he tips up, lips finding hers. The kiss is deep, wistful, and his words are a low murmur against her mouth. ]
[ The kids is bittersweet. All she's wanted was for Ransom to be all in with her. She's been patient and allowed him to try. They're both in a quasi-relationship where they're figuring it, but she's also with Cameron. Cameron, who often gets left behind because she wants him.
It figures he's only all in once he gets what he wants. He has his inheritance. More than that even. He's got the keys to the kingdom, save for the concessions he'll make for her family. She's asked nothing for herself. She doesn't want it. All she wants is him.
He's offering himself to her, but she can't take him. Not like this. ]
You have to, cariño. I'm not for you. I don't come with the inheritance.
No, [ he says, kissing her again, hand sliding to the nape of her neck, through dark strands to deepen the kiss. How could he not drink her in when she's pushing him away? How could he ever let her go when she's slipping through his fingers? ]
No, you're wrong. You're the only one for me-and you want me too, not him, me. [ Cameron could never fill the part in her heart that's shaped like him. The jealousy has always been tied to anger, but it's also been tied to his inability to do what Cameron has done: to hand himself over to her, wholly without complication, patiently and lovingly. There's always been too much complication between them, unlike the easy way Cameron can be upfront with his intentions.
But that's what makes them so right for each other. Cameron doesn't know Marta like he does. Cameron hasn't gone to such lengths for Marta. His other hand comes to her cheek to gently hold her as he kisses her nose, her chin, along the curve of her jaw. ] You can have me now. [ He kisses down the column of her neck. ] I'm yours, like you wanted.
[ She can't help but return the kiss. As much as her heart is breaking, kissing him like this makes her feel like she's taking a deep breath. The more she pushes him away, the tighter he holds on. It's Ransom's way. He always wants what he can't have. For a moment, all she can do is cup his face and kiss him back so fervently. There's a part of her that understands that this might be the last time.
If it's the last time then she wants to relish it. Come morning, she'll have to slip away and find a way to live with the gaping wound in her heart. The kiss tastes like sea salt from her tears and desperation to hold on. She can't tell if the desperation is his or hers. Maybe both. ]
Why couldn't you be mine before? [ It's so frustrating. It feels too little, too late. She tugs at his knit shirt to pull it off of him. There's an urgency in her touch. Their time together is slipping through their fingers. He hasn't accepted it yet, but it's coming. ]
[ He pulls away from her only enough to tug his shirt off. He still wears her marks, some more faded than others. It's been a while since anyone else saw him like this. He's been hers for a long time now, but he can only shake his head in response to her question. It seems so easy in hindsight, but he wasn't ready to admit it until she was ready to give him what she withheld.
Even like this, trying to get away from him, she can't help but be drawn in to him. His hands find her waist and he pulls her to him, letting her dress bunch around her thighs as he drags her off the couch and into his lap instead.
The kiss is deep and messy, and his hands are desperate as he finds the side zipper on her dress. It catches when his teeth catch her lip, and he pulls hard and breaks the zipper. He ends up shoving her dress up above her hips to get closer to her. ] All you had to do--was give me this and we could've--[ His breath catches in his throat as her thighs frame his hips and he holds onto her tight, as he struggles to push away the thought that they could've is in the past. ] I was always yours.
[ A soft bitter laugh escapes her. She hears the truth in his words. She hear how he says could've before he corrects himself. Ransom can try and charm her with the romance she craves, but she knows the truth. He's only hers once she's given over what he's wanted all along. She straddles his lap and nips hard at neck, at his bottom lip, at his jawline. She wants to punish him as much as she wants to love him.
Her hips start to rock and grind against him. Her dress hangs loosely about her body. Their pressed so close together that it's like they're trying to be one person. ]
[ He tips his head back to let her teeth scrape against his skin, and his breath catches hard in his throat. He wishes she were lying, but he can tell that she wholeheartedly believes it, and that frustrates him. A breath spills out in a frustrated groan as meets every roll of her hips.
He rises to his knees to tip them back against the couch. His hand twists in her hair and he pulls her head back, mouth finding her delicate clavicles to leave a hard mark in its wake. He wants her to savour them when she stands in front of the mirror, staring at them like he does. ]
You are mine, even if you don't want to be. [ His other hand slides up her dress. ] You miss me, Marta. You'll miss me more if you leave.
[ She's honest to a fault. Marta knows how dreadfully she'll miss him. But Ransom has made his choice. He's only hers if he has the inheritance. The rest doesn't seem to matter. Never mind what Harlan wanted of whether or not he truly had any right to it. Her hands go to his pants to get them shove down his hips. She's needy for him.
Her other tangles in his hair and gives it a sharp, nearly painful tug. Her heart aches. She wants him to hurt a little too. She guides his lips back to hers for a fervent kiss. ]
You're what I've wanted. You've known that for awhile now.
Then take me. [ He's also known for a while that he wholly belongs to her. As much as he hates to think it, as much as he resisted it on the surface. He's already hard and straining for her as her hands push the waistband of his pants down. A groan spills into the kiss with the sparks that race down his spine from the pain. ]
Please. [ His teeth catch her bottom lip as a hand finds her underwear. He pushes his fingers against her heat. There's something desperate to this. He's burning up for her. ] I need you, and you need me too.
[ Just tonight, and she'd walk away. He has his money, and as for Marta? She has her family. She has herself. She has her skills and cleverness. She'll be fine. It'll hurt like hell, but she'll get by. Her soft hand wraps around him. She strokes him slowly and then guides him to her entrance. She mewls softly at the hot press of him. She wraps her legs around him and draws him deeper. ]
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:14 pm (UTC)[ She's tired of talking about this. She doesn't want to talk anymore. All Marta wants to do is crawl beneath some warm, cozy blankets and sleep for a day or two.
She doesn't jump at the sharpness in his words or the way the door slams open. She simply pauses at the doorway to brush her feet clean of gravel. Her feet lead her to the couch which she drops herself on. She pulls a pillow to her chest and hugs it tight. ]
You have what you want. What more do you want?
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:21 pm (UTC)What do you mean? It's not you or the money.
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:23 pm (UTC)The money is more important to you than I am. I'm done talking about this.
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:26 pm (UTC)It's not more important to me than you are. [ He finally says. ] Marta. [ He knows what she's doing. She's thrown him the money and pulled herself away. ] Don't make me choose.
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:31 pm (UTC)You already have.
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Date: 2023-03-27 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-03-27 08:49 pm (UTC)We can't have it all, Ransom. Can't you see that? We're only here because of the money. All of this, all that you've done has been for exactly that, isn't it?
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Date: 2023-03-27 09:07 pm (UTC)He wants nothing more than to kiss her tears away and show him how grateful he is, that she's finally relented and given him what he's wanted this whole time. He wants nothing more but to adore her, but instead, she's crying, telling him he can't have her. ]
No. Yes--at first, yes, but it's not just for the money anymore. [ He's trying to be honest with her. ] Marta, I've been doing all of this for you too. Why won't you believe me?
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Date: 2023-03-27 09:18 pm (UTC)Making me trust you again? Believe in you? Making me fall for you? All so you can get your money. That's for me too?
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Date: 2023-03-27 09:26 pm (UTC)Because I want that with you, too. I want you fall for me because I'm falling for you--Fuck, Marta. [ He sits there, staring at her, incredulous with the words that came out of his mouth. ] I'm falling for you. [ He repeats again, words pleading. ]
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Date: 2023-03-27 09:32 pm (UTC)Her heart feels traitorous to hear how he's falling for her too. Neither of them have truly put into words what this is and how they feel. They just know. ]
And if I never gave you the money? If you never got your cut?
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Date: 2023-03-27 09:40 pm (UTC)I'd think you couldn't ever trust me.
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Date: 2023-03-27 11:59 pm (UTC)I've trusted you with my body. My heart. But it's not enough.
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Date: 2023-03-28 12:45 am (UTC)But how could he ever put any of that into words? How could he ever express that the inheritance is now forever tied to her, that it's no longer complete without her? What good is her finally giving this to him if it doesn't come with its keeper? ]
You were keeping something from me. You wanted me to give up something that means so much to me--how was I supposed to give you all of me? [ She wanted him to say he was hers, all hers, and now, when he finally wants to be all hers, she pulls away. ]
What do I have to do? [ He takes her hand, eyes downcast, brows drawn together. ] What do I have to do for you to take me again?
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Date: 2023-03-28 01:11 am (UTC)Harlan had meant to do a good thing by giving it to her. He thought she deserves it. It's only brought her so much trouble and heartache. It's brought a man who's tried to kill her and one she loves so madly all in the same breath.
Ransom is on his knees, trying to find a way to make it work. Have his cake and eat it too. She's so tired. The ire and fight flood out of her. Gently, she cups his face. Her thumb brushes along his cheekbone as she gazes into his eyes. ]
Why does it mean so much to you? It was Harlan's wealth. Because he was your blood, you should get it? By the reasoning, I should give it to all your family. Split it up as the original will dictated.
[ She releases a sigh then leans in to press a kiss to his forehead. Her lips linger there as she breathes him in. When she pulls back, Marta is resigned. ]
I don't know, Ransom. I wish I did.
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Date: 2023-03-28 01:28 am (UTC)There's a yearning in his eyes when he looks at her again. She doesn't have an answer, and neither does he. His hand lifts to her cheek and he tips up, lips finding hers. The kiss is deep, wistful, and his words are a low murmur against her mouth. ]
I don't wanna let you go. I won't.
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Date: 2023-03-28 01:40 am (UTC)It figures he's only all in once he gets what he wants. He has his inheritance. More than that even. He's got the keys to the kingdom, save for the concessions he'll make for her family. She's asked nothing for herself. She doesn't want it. All she wants is him.
He's offering himself to her, but she can't take him. Not like this. ]
You have to, cariño. I'm not for you. I don't come with the inheritance.
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Date: 2023-03-28 02:00 am (UTC)No, you're wrong. You're the only one for me-and you want me too, not him, me. [ Cameron could never fill the part in her heart that's shaped like him. The jealousy has always been tied to anger, but it's also been tied to his inability to do what Cameron has done: to hand himself over to her, wholly without complication, patiently and lovingly. There's always been too much complication between them, unlike the easy way Cameron can be upfront with his intentions.
But that's what makes them so right for each other. Cameron doesn't know Marta like he does. Cameron hasn't gone to such lengths for Marta. His other hand comes to her cheek to gently hold her as he kisses her nose, her chin, along the curve of her jaw. ] You can have me now. [ He kisses down the column of her neck. ] I'm yours, like you wanted.
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Date: 2023-03-28 02:10 am (UTC)If it's the last time then she wants to relish it. Come morning, she'll have to slip away and find a way to live with the gaping wound in her heart. The kiss tastes like sea salt from her tears and desperation to hold on. She can't tell if the desperation is his or hers. Maybe both. ]
Why couldn't you be mine before? [ It's so frustrating. It feels too little, too late. She tugs at his knit shirt to pull it off of him. There's an urgency in her touch. Their time together is slipping through their fingers. He hasn't accepted it yet, but it's coming. ]
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Date: 2023-03-28 02:29 am (UTC)Even like this, trying to get away from him, she can't help but be drawn in to him. His hands find her waist and he pulls her to him, letting her dress bunch around her thighs as he drags her off the couch and into his lap instead.
The kiss is deep and messy, and his hands are desperate as he finds the side zipper on her dress. It catches when his teeth catch her lip, and he pulls hard and breaks the zipper. He ends up shoving her dress up above her hips to get closer to her. ] All you had to do--was give me this and we could've--[ His breath catches in his throat as her thighs frame his hips and he holds onto her tight, as he struggles to push away the thought that they could've is in the past. ] I was always yours.
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Date: 2023-03-28 12:25 pm (UTC)Her hips start to rock and grind against him. Her dress hangs loosely about her body. Their pressed so close together that it's like they're trying to be one person. ]
You're not mine. And I'm not yours.
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Date: 2023-03-28 02:13 pm (UTC)He rises to his knees to tip them back against the couch. His hand twists in her hair and he pulls her head back, mouth finding her delicate clavicles to leave a hard mark in its wake. He wants her to savour them when she stands in front of the mirror, staring at them like he does. ]
You are mine, even if you don't want to be. [ His other hand slides up her dress. ] You miss me, Marta. You'll miss me more if you leave.
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Date: 2023-03-28 02:26 pm (UTC)[ She's honest to a fault. Marta knows how dreadfully she'll miss him. But Ransom has made his choice. He's only hers if he has the inheritance. The rest doesn't seem to matter. Never mind what Harlan wanted of whether or not he truly had any right to it. Her hands go to his pants to get them shove down his hips. She's needy for him.
Her other tangles in his hair and gives it a sharp, nearly painful tug. Her heart aches. She wants him to hurt a little too. She guides his lips back to hers for a fervent kiss. ]
You're what I've wanted. You've known that for awhile now.
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Date: 2023-03-28 02:37 pm (UTC)Please. [ His teeth catch her bottom lip as a hand finds her underwear. He pushes his fingers against her heat. There's something desperate to this. He's burning up for her. ] I need you, and you need me too.
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Date: 2023-03-28 02:47 pm (UTC)[ Just tonight, and she'd walk away. He has his money, and as for Marta? She has her family. She has herself. She has her skills and cleverness. She'll be fine. It'll hurt like hell, but she'll get by. Her soft hand wraps around him. She strokes him slowly and then guides him to her entrance. She mewls softly at the hot press of him. She wraps her legs around him and draws him deeper. ]
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